So I had a conversation today with a friend of mine about inspiration, or shall I say the lack of. He asked me what inspired me and my response was "I don't know". If he asked me this a year ago, I would've had an answer for him, maybe two. The irony of this is that a year ago I was unhappy at my job, unstable in my personal life and a little fractured in my spirit. In my present state, I am none of the above. So why am I speechless when asked what inspires me?
I fear I have forgotten how to function without chaos. Just the same as the people who pray only when the skies are grey. I have fought battles, walked through deserts, been imprisoned by despair, taunted by hate and not once did I ever stop moving.That was my inspiration. I knew I'd pass through eventually to where I am now and now that I am here, I look for comfort in battles that are no longer around me and I feel empty. I need to find peace in peace and learn to separate my chaos from that of my happiness. I want to know what it feels like to have everything and want nothing. To know the difference between content and complacent. I want to stop wanting. I am finally here, and now I don't know where to go.
Inspiration: Please find me.
1 comment:
ur blog makes me want to become a cutter...love u, haha!
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