AN EMANCIPATION OF EXISTENCE: MY SECRET LOVE

There is something defining in an encounter with a place you didn't think you'd love, yet you blindly fall for. It's a provocative feeling similar to that of a secret you keep only to yourself, for if anyone were to ever know, the repercussions could be irreversible. This secret of mine lies somewhere in the heart of New York City. I was delivered into this city at a time in my life where I forgot what it was like to feel. What I had left behind me, if only for a short period, was a world of emails, text messages, computer screens, responsibility and a maelstrom of unanswered questions and unfulfilled longings. Upon entering this secret love of mine, I discovered trees that spoke to me with their far reaching limbs and strong tall bodies telling a story of history and struggles. These trees lined the cracked cement sidewalks tracing the black unpaved roads leading to destinations unknown. They were withered and tired, but still managed to blossom in the morning light and glow in the light of the moon. This is the best description I can use to depict the state New York. It's a city that thrives in its struggle, grows from its surroundings and never manages to get enough time to sleep. It's almost safe to say that the moon and sun have no part in this other world, as if they simply exist by choice.

The city moved me to inspiration and emotion. For the first time in a long time, I felt I had been given back what had been taken from me for so long, Love. I felt full of a life that embodied chaos, creation, sound and strength. It was like that of a wise mans face, intimidating from its external yet so enticing by the authenticity of its wrinkles. Each line was perfectly placed, representing an experience, a lesson learned, a piece of the puzzle fulfilled. My heart had been captured by this beautiful land mine and I didn't want to leave.

The people were educated, confident, uninhibited and cultured. I met a man from Tanzania who studied and received degrees in both Business and Medicine simultaneously. He spoke Swahili, French, Spanish and English. I met another from Paris who was a lawyer and came to New York in search of life. I met another that worked in a shoe store who asked me if I believe in love. My response was as simple as Yes and it was good enough. I met 2 Rastafari's who sang Bob Marley's Turn Your Lights Down Low live and kept telling me that I was special and couldn't figure out the reason for our encounter. I figured they wanted to take both me and my friend home that night to discover its truth. We took a cab home instead. I met photographers, musicians, students, lawyers, doctors, all of whom were fluent in the language of "how much do you pay for your apartment?". The city and its inhabitants were of another world yet they all had one thing in common, and that was their love for New York.

I'll never forget New York, but as a wise man once said to me, "New York is like your mistress. There will be no commitment there". But in the interim while I try to get over this love of mine, I'll still always have it as my secret.